How to Find Your Purpose

It’s a New Year! Hooray! Personally, I have never been so excited to see a year in my rear view mirror than 2020! Last year I was filled with so much hope and purpose for what the year would bring, but all those plans were quickly dashed to bits against the rocks of the Covid Pandemic. How I wanted the year to go, and how it really went were two very different things. And that is ok! Not everything in life goes according to our plans, but it still matters that we have a plan and a sense of purpose. Our purpose give us a map to follow, even if we take an occasional detour.

After my life blew up (this is how I came to describe finding out about my husband’s affairs), I felt like my life was over. I had no sense of purpose because everything I thought was my purpose, was gone. I was no longer a wife, sweetheart, helpmeet, or companion, and the family I spent my entire life building was suddenly shattering around me. It’s a very unnerving place to find yourself – starting over at 60. How would I find my purpose now? Was it too late for me to start over?

My Purpose

Little did I know that my new purpose was all around me. I just couldn’t see it. Yet. It would take me several years to figure this out, but little did I know that I was being prepared for my purpose, even in my grief. It turns out my purpose practically fell into my lap!

I still didn’t see it though, until…

I bought a book that would change my life. It’s called Rituals for Living, Dreambook Planner and here is the link to it. It’s kind of a planner, but that isn’t all it does. (see the link for more details.) It helped me reconnect with who I really am, and what I wanted out of the rest of my life, and to remember my dreams. (Note: I ordered the Dreambook in PDF format.)

It is exactly what it says – It’s a Dreambook.

Let me say here that I don’t get anything from recommending this resource to you. It’s what worked for me, so consider it a gift. I don’t really know how I came across it, other than it just showed up on my computer one day. I was manifesting stuff I needed before I even understood what that was. The things I needed the most in the moment, just started showing up when I needed them the most, and the Dreambook was no different!


I had forgotten what it was like to have a dream. It had been a long time since I had a dream that was really mine. So I opened my Dreambook and began…to dream.

When I was a child I had all kinds of dreams. The world was full of endless possibilities back then! Oh how I had forgotten what that was like! It’s a scary thing to dream again after all your dreams have been destoyed! But what did I have to lose, I had already lost everything?

In the Dreambook there was a section called “Questions to Connect You to Your Purpose and Desires” and so I began…

  • What are you longing for most in life?
  • When you are at the end of your life, what do you want to have accomplished?
  • If you knew you had one year left to live, would there be anything you would want to fix or clean up?
  • What are you willing to let go of that is not serving you? (habits, obligations, attitudes, outdated goals, etc.)
  • What do you want to explore more deeply?
  • What would make life feel ridiculously fun?
  • What feels really nourishing to your soul?
  • Of all the things your have done in your life, what has given you the deepest sense of fulfillment? What have you been most proud of yourself?
  • Where do you find yourself not being fully present in your life, or not participating fully?

These questions can be really difficult to answer. They were very daunting for me. It isn’t always easy to take a magnifying glass to your inner most thoughts and feelings. Truthfully, most of my clients do not like these questions! But I promise you that the end result will be worth it. Take your time. Really ponder these questions and write down what your heart is telling you.

Your Core Values

Next it’s time to identify your core values and gifts. When push comes to shove, what really matters to you, and what is most important? What are your greatest accomplishments, and your biggest failures? When have you been the most productive, and the least productive? What are you like when you are at your best? When do you like yourself the most, or the least? What advice would you give someone based on what you have learned in your life?

Here is a list of some core values to get you started:


This is not a complete list so be sure to add others that come to your mind and heart, but are not on this list.

Your Gifts

Now considering your previous answers what are your gifts and abilities? What talents do you have that are unique to you? Are you creative? A good listener? Are you good with children, or animals? Do you give really good advice? Do you have a specific skill set? This is not the time for modesty! Everyone has gifts and abilities! What are yours? Write them all down! Ask other people what they think your gifts are.

Putting It All Together

Now that you have come this far, it is time to put it all together to discover your purpose. If you take into consideration the answers above, along with your core values and gifts, what do you think your life’s purpose would be? Write down anything that comes to mind. Ponder it, mediate on it or pray about it if you feel so inclined. Sometimes we think that our life’s purpose is the one thing we are supposed to do while on this earth. But that isn’t always the case. Often we have more than one purpose! We are not necessarily assigned one grand life purpose. We can choose what our purpose will be, and that purpose can change. The trick is to start somewhere and build from there. You will refine it over time, and it will often evolve as you go. We don’t need to put the added pressure on ourselves to get it exactly right now. So go ahead and dream! It is time to start the journey of becoming who you were always meant to be!

It helps if we can frame our purpose in the context of helping others or serving. How do your core values and gifts help you give something back that is unique to you? What does your heart tell you?

Fill in the blank:

My purpose is to __________________________________________________________.

Once you know your purpose and what you want to accomplish it will serve you as a guide and keep you on track as you set goals and intentions for what you want to do in the next week, months, year and beyond.

Now that you have your own personal map for the future, how do you decide what to do next? Be sure to order your own Dreambook to take the next steps on your own. Or…

This is where having a life coach comes in. I can help you figure out the next steps to take on your journey and hold your accountable. If you would like to work with me sign up one of my online programs, or to work with me one on one. I would love to schedule a zoom meeting with you to see if we would be a good fit!

Published by Deborah L. Dahl

I am a Certified Master Life Coach, NLP Practitioner, and Energy Healer with certifications in multiple healing modalities.

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